Giles: Uh, when I’ve examined it, you can, uh, uh, skim it.
Jenny: Scan it, Rupert. That’s scan it.

Jenny: Oh, I know, our ways are strange to you, but soon you will join us in the 20th century. With three whole years spare!
Giles: Ms Calendar, I’m sure your computer science class is fascinating, but I happen to believe that one can survive in modern society without being a slave to the, um, idiot box.
Jenny: That’s TV. The idiot box is TV. This is the GOOD box!

Willow: Xander, you wanna stay and help me?
Xander: Are you kidding?
Willow: Yes, it was a joke I made up.

Giles: I’m, I’m just gonna stay and clean up a little. I’ll, uh, I’ll be back in the middle ages.
Jenny: Did you ever leave?

Buffy: So, you’ve been seeing a guy, and you don’t know what he looks like? Okay, this is a puzzle. No, wait, I’m good at these. Does it involve a midget and a block of ice?
Willow: I met him online.
Buffy: On line for what?

Buffy: Not everything, but some stuff is. I mean, what if you guys get really, really intense, and then you find out that he… has… a hairy back?
Willow: Well, no! Uh, he doesn’t talk like somebody who would have a hairy back. And anyways, that stuff doesn’t matter when you really care about each other. Maybe I’m not his ideal either.

Boy; This isn’t my report! ‘Nazi Germany was a model of a well ordered society’? I didn’t write that! Who’s been in my files?

Xander: Or who he really is. I mean, sure he says he’s a high school student, but I can say I’m a high school student.
Buffy: You are.
Xander: Okay, but I can also say that I’m an elderly Dutch woman. Get me? I mean, who’s to say I’m not if I’m in the elderly Dutch chat room?

Buffy:  But they write the profile themselves, right? And so they could say anything they wanted.
Dave: True.
Buffy: Wow! I had knowledge!

Xander: Calax Research and Development. It’s a computer research lab. Third largest  employer in Sunnydale till it closed down last year. What, I can’t have information sometimes?
Giles: Well, I-it’s just somewhat unprecedented.

Buffy: Besides, I can just tell something’s wrong. My spider sense is tingling.
Giles: You… spider sense?
Buffy: Pop culture reference. Sorry.

Buffy: I think we’re done. Makes our speaking English is good?
Xander: I panicked, okay?

Jenny: You’re a snob.
Giles: I am no such thing.
Jenny: Oh, you’re a big snob. You, you think that knowledge should be kept in these carefully guarded repositories where only a handful of white guys can get at it.

Giles: Well, it’s been so nice talking to you.
Jenny: We were fighting.
Giles: Must do it again sometime, yes… Bye, now.

Buffy: Tell me the truth: how’s my hair?
Xander: It’s great! It’s your best hair ever!

Buffy: You mean besides convince a perfectly nice kid to try and kill me? I don’t know. How about mess up all the medical equipment in the world?
Giles: Randomise traffic signals.
Buffy: Access launch codes for our nuclear missiles.
Giles: Destroy the world’s economy.
Buffy: I think I pretty much capped it with that nuclear missile thing.
Giles: Right, yours was best.

Giles: Ms. Calendar and I are, uh, working to get Moloch offline.
Buffy: Here’s a tip: hurry!

Giles: Couldn’t you just stop Moloch by, by entering some computer virus?
Jenny: You’ve seen way too many movies.

Willow: Malcolm! Remember me, your girlfriend?! Well, I think it’s time we break up! Or maybe we can still be friends!

Buffy: Hey, did you forget? The one boy I’ve had the hots for since I’ve moved here turned out to be a vampire.
Xander: Right, and the teacher I had a crush on? Giant praying mantis?
Willow: That’s true.
Xander: Yeah, that’s life on the Hellmouth.
Buffy: Let’s face it: none of us are ever gonna have a happy, normal relationship.
Xander: We’re doomed!
Willow: Yeah!
(they all laugh but it’s a nervous laugh that stops quickly)