Cordelia: Hello ? Doofus ! You’re in my light.
Xander: Wendell, what is wrong with you? Don’t you know that she is the center of the universe, and the rest of us merely revolve around her?
Cordelia: Why don’t you revolve yourselves out of my light?

Willow: I don’t like spiders, okay? Their furry bodies, and their sticky webs, and what do they need all those legs for anyway? I’ll tell you: for crawling across your face in the middle of the night. Ewww! How do they not ruffle you?

Buffy: Hey Giles! Wakey, wakey!
Giles: I was, uh, in the stacks. I got lost.

Wendell: They’re not insects. They’re arachnids.
Xander: They’re from the Middle East?

Willow: What do you mean, you love spiders?
Xander: It is platonic, right?

Ugly man: Lucky nineteen!

Mother: Oh there’s my little baby.
Punk: Mom, what are you doing here? Mom…
Mother How’s my little pookie?
Punk: Mom, mom, please don’t kiss me in front of the guys! It’s embarrassing, mom! Please!
Mother: You cute little rascal, you!
Punk: Mom… Thanks, but mom, please, my friends are right here…

Buffy: Could I be seeing Billy’s asteroid body?
Giles: Astral body, and I-I don’t know. As usual, one doesn’t have an inordinate amount of information to work with.

Willow: So, why is this happening?
Giles: Billy.
Xander: Well, that explanation was shorter than usual. It’s Billy! Who’s Billy?

Cordelia: No! What are you doing? You don’t understand! I don’t wanna go! I’m not even on the chess team! I swear, I’m not!

Xander: You are a lousy clown! Your balloon animals are pathetic! Everyone can make a giraffe!

Buffy: (who is a vampire) Well, we better hurry… ‘cause I’m getting hungry.
Xander: That is a… joke, right?

Willow: When Buffy was a vampire, you weren’t still, like, attracted to her, were you?
Xander: Willow, how can you… I mean, that’s really bent! She was… grotesque!
Willow: Still dug her, huh?
Xander: I’m sick, I need help.
Willow: Don’t I know it.