Angel: Hey! Is this a bad time?
Buffy: Are you crazy? You don’t just sneak up on people in a graveyard. You make noise when you walk. You stomp or… yodel.

Angel: I just thought you’d have somebody with you. Xander or someone.
Buffy: Xander.
Angel: Or someone.
Buffy: Nope. Why? Are you jealous?
Angel: Of Xander? Please. He’s just a kid.
Buffy: It is ‘cause I dance with him?
Angel: “Danced with” is a pretty loose term. “Mated with” might be a little closer.

Giles: W-w-what I’m proposing is, um… and I-I don’t mean to appear indecorous, is, is, um, a, a-a-a social engagement, um, a, a, a, a, a-a date, if you’re amenable

Buffy: I guess we never realized how much you like this chair.
Giles: I-I-I was just working on…
Buffy: Your pickup lines?
Giles: Um, in a manner of speaking, yes.
Buffy: Then, if you wouldn’t mind a little Gene and Roger, you might wanna leave off the “idiot” part. Being called an idiot tends to take people out of the dating mood.

Buffy: You also might wanna avoid words like “amenable” and “indecorous”, y’know. Speak English, not whatever they speak in, um…
Giles: England?
Buffy: Yeah. You just say, “Hey, I got a thing, you maybe have a thing, maybe we could have a thing.”
Giles: Oh, thank you, Cyrano.
Buffy: I’m not finished. Then you say, “How do you feel about Mexican?”
Giles: About Mexicans?
Buffy: Mexican. Food.

Giles: Grave robbing? That’s new. Interesting.
Buffy: I know you meant to say gross and disturbing.

Cordelia: Hi. Sorry to interrupt your little undead playgroup, but I need to ask Willow if she’ll help me with my science fair project.
Willow: It’s a fruit.
Cordelia: I would’ve asked Chris to help me, but then that would’ve brought back too many memories of Daryl.
Willow: I found it! Meredith Todd died in a car accident last week.
Cordelia: Of course I have learned to deal with my pain.
Buffy: How was her neck?
Willow: Fine, except for being broken.
Cordelia: Hello! Can we deal with my pain please?
Giles: There, there.

Xander: Y’know, this might go a lot faster if you femmes actually picked up a shovel too.
Giles: Here, here.
Buffy: Sorry, but I’m an old-fashioned gal. I was raised to believe that men dig up the corpses and the women have the babies.

Willow: Darryl Epps. Chris’ older brother. He was a big football star. All-state two years ago. He was a running… He was a running… Uh, someone who runs and catches.

Willow: By the way, are we hoping to find a body, or no body?
Xander: Call me an optimist, but I’m hoping to find a fortune in gold doubloons.

Angel: Cordelia told me the truth.
Xander: That’s gotta be a first.

Cordelia: It was horrible. Angel saved me from an arm. God, there were so many parts, they were everywhere. Why are these terrible things always happening to me?
Xander: Karma!

Angel: Well, what I saw didn’t add up to three whole girls. I think they kept some parts.
Buffy: Could this get yuckier?
Willow: They probably kept the other parts to eat.
Buffy: Question answered.

Giles: You understand, in my capacity as school official, this search is completely unauthorized, and I, I cannot condone it.
Buffy: Fine, your butt’s covered. Wanna grab a locker?

Xander: And speaking of love…
Willow: We were talking about the re-animation of dead tissue.

Xander: Heads must be no good. Huh. I found ’em attractive enough. Well obviously I’m not as sick as Chris and Eric.

Willow: Buffy? Don’t be too hard on Chris. I mean, he’s not a vampire.
Buffy: No. He’s just a ghoul.

Buffy: Joy! Lisa! Where’s Cordelia?
Joy: Cordelia has a game to think about. She doesn’t need losers like you.
Buffy: I’m sorry, what did you say?

Jenny: I don’t know what it is about football that does it for me. I mean, it lacks the, the grace of basketball, the, uh, poetry of baseball. At its best it’s unadorned aggression. It’s such a rude contest.
Giles: Rugged. American football.

Jenny:  Is this your normal strategy for a first date? Dissing my country’s national pastime?
Giles: Did you just say “date”?
Jenny: You noticed that, uh?

Jenny: It’s okay. Although a good rule of thumb for a first date is don’t do anything so exciting that it’ll be hard to top on the second date.
Giles: Believe it or not, since I’ve moved here to live on top of the Hellmouth, the events of this evening actually qualify as a slow night. Did you just say “second date”?
Jenny: You noticed that, huh?

Xander: Well, I guess that makes its official. Everybody’s paired off. Vampires get dates. Hell, even the school librarian sees more action than me. You ever think that the world is a giant game of musical chairs, and the music’s stopped and we’re the only ones who don’t have a chair?