Spike: What’s Big Blue up to anyway? He just sits there.
Judge: I am preparing.
Spike: Yeah. It’s interesting to me that “preparing” looks a great bit like sitting on your ass.

Joyce: So, did you have fun last night?
Buffy: Fun?
Joyce: At Willow’s.
Buffy: Yeah. Yeah, fun at Willow’s. you know, she’s a fun machine.

Xander: Then Buffy could be… Okay, we gotta find ‘em. Um, we gotta go to that place, that, uh, that factory. That’s where they’re holed up, right? Lets’ go.
Cordelia: And do what? Besides be afraid and die.
Xander: Well, nobody’s asking you to go, Cordelia. If vampires need grooming tips we’ll give you a call.

Willow: No. Xander’s right! My God, you people are all… well, I’m upset, and I can’t think of a mean word right now, but that’s what you are, and we’re going to the factory!

Xander: After classes I’ll come back and help you research.
Cordelia: Yeah, you might find something useful if it’s in an “I can read” book.

Drusilla: I’m naming all the stars.
Spike: You can’t see the stars, love. That’s the ceiling. Also, it’s day.
Drusilla. I can see them. But I’ve named them all the same name. And there’s terrible confusion.
Spike: Did you see any further? Do you know what happens to Angel?
Angelus: Well, he moves to New York and tries to fulfill that Broadway dream. It’s tough sledding, but one day he’s working in the chorus when the big star twists her ankle.

Drusilla: Pssst. We’re going to destroy the world. Want to come?
Angelus: Yeah. Destroying the world. Great. I’m really more interested in the Slayer.
Spike: Well, she’s in the world, so that should work out.

Willow: Ok. No, no, he didn’t, but I’m sure I will… well, Buffy, he probably has some plan, and he’s trying to protect you. Well, I-I don’t know what. I’m not in on the plan. It’s his plan. No. don’t even say that! Angel is not dead.
Xander: Say “hi” for me.
Willow: Yeah, of course we’ll be here. Okay, bye. Say “hi” for me?

Cordelia: I know. You were too busy rushing off to die for your beloved Buffy. You’d never die for me.
Xander: No, I might die from you. Does that get me any points?

Xander: Come on, can’t we just kiss and make up?
Cordelia: I don’t wanna make up. But I’m okay with the other part.

Willow: I knew it! I knew it! Well, not “knew it” in the sense of having the slightest idea, but I knew there was something I didn’t know. You two were fighting way too much. It’s not natural.
Xander: I know it’s weird…
Willow: Weird? It’s against all laws of God and Man! It’s Cordelia! Remember? The, the “We hate Cordelia” club, of which you are the treasurer.
Xander: Look, I was gonna tell you.
Willow: Gee, what stopped you? Could it be shamed?
Xander: All right, let’s overreact, shall we?
Willow: But I’m…
Xander: Willow, we were just kissing. It doesn’t mean that much.
Willow: No. it just means that you’d rather be with someone you hate than be with me.

Buffy: I, I don’t understand. Was it m-me? Was I not good?
Angelus: You were great. Really. I thought you were a pro.
Buffy: How can you say this to me?
Angelus: Lighten up. It was a good time. It doesn’t mean like we have to make a big deal.
Buffy: It is a big deal!
Angelus: It’s what? Bells ringing, fireworks, a dulcet choir of pretty little birdies? Come on, Buffy. It’s not like I’ve never been there before.

Cordelia: This is great. There’s an unkillable demon in town, Angel’s joined his team, the Slayer is a basket case…. I’d say we’ve hit bottom.
Xander: I have a plan.
Cordelia: Oh, no, here’s a lower place.

Xander: Because if I tell you, then you won’t do it. Just meet me at Willow’s house in half an hour. And wear something trashy…er.

Angelus: Spike, my boy, you really don’t get it! Do you? You tried to kill her, but you couldn’t. look at you. You’re a wreck! She’s stronger than any Slayer you’ve ever faced. Force won’t get it done. You gotta work from the inside. To kill this girl… you have to love her.

Jenny: The curse. If Angel achieved true happiness, even just a moment of…. He would lose is soul.
Giles: W-w-w-h-how do you know you were responsible f-for… Oh.

Xander: Well, you know the ladies. They like to see the big guns. Gets them all hot and bothered. Can you cut me some slack, gimme a blind eye?
Soldier: And why should I?
Xander: Well, if you do, I won’t tell Colonel Newsome that your boots ain’t regulation, your post wasn’t covered, and you hold your gun like a sissy girl.
Soldier: You got 20 minutes, nimrod.
Xander: I just need 5. Uh, forget I said that last part.

Cordelia: Well, does looking at guns make you wanna have sex?
Xander: I’m seventeen. Looking at linoleum makes me wanna have sex.

Oz: So, do you guys steal weapons from the Army a lot?
Willow: Well, we don’t have cable, so we have to make our own fun.