Xander: First of all, what was with the acrobatics? How did that happen?
Oz: Wasn’t Andy Hoelich on the gymnastic team?
Xander: That’s right, he was! Cheater!

Xander: Okay, and the, uh, second problem I’m having… “Come and get it, Big Boy”?
Willow: Well… W-well, the Slayer always says a pun or-or a witty play on words, and I think it throws the vampires off, and, and it makes them frightened because I’m wisecracking. Okay. I didn’t really have a chance to work on that one, but you try it every time.
Oz: Uh, if I may suggest: “This time it’s personal.” I mean, there’s a reason why it’s a classic.

Xander: I can’t wait to see Cordelia. I can’t believe I can’t wait to see Cordelia.
Willow: I wonder what our first homework assignment’s gonna be. Hey, you’re excited over Cordelia, okay? We’ve all got issues.

Lily: Can we get cake?
Rickie: Don’t be stupid. We gotta eat healthy. We can’t have cake. Can we get pie?
Buffy: We’ve got a peach pie. I can’t guarantee there’s a peach in it.

Willow: How was your summer?
Cordelia: Oh, I can’t believe you brought that up. Las Palmas was the nightmare resort. They order you around and make you have organized fun, and I used sarcastic quote marks. Plus the fact there are cockroaches in Mexico big enough to own property. It was all about dread. How was your summer?

Cordelia: How’s my hair?
Willow: Uh, it’s good!
Cordelia: He didn’t meet anybody over the summer, did he? No, who’s he gonna meet in Sunnydale, but monsters and stuff? But then again he’s always been attracted to monsters. How’s my hair?
Willow: Still good.

Oz: Well, it’s sort of a funny story. You remember when I didn’t graduate?
Willow: Well, I know you had a lot of incompletes, but that’s what summer school was for.
Oz: Yeah. Well, you remember when I didn’t go?

Willow: But you never said anything. How am I supposed to react to this rather alarming news?
Oz: Well, actually, I was pretty much banking on you finding it cute.
Willow: Well, traditionally, you know, repeating a grade isn’t exactly a turn-on. A-and you’re practically a genius. You’re Mr. Test Scores. I-it’s all a little weird.
Oz: So the cute thing is out?

Larry: This is our year, I’m telling you. Best football season ever. I’m so in shape, I’m a rock. It’s all about egg whites. If we can focus, keep disciplines, and not have quite as many mysterious deaths, Sunnydale is gonna rule!

Willow: I’m trying to get to cute, really. But I’m still sorta stuck on strange.
Oz: Well, I’d be willing to bargain down to eccentric with an option on cool.

Lily: So how come you came up with Anne?
Buffy: It’s my middle name.
Lily: Lily’s from a song. Rickie picked it. I’m always changing anyway. Chantarelle was part of my exotic phase.
Buffy: It’s nice. It’s a mushroom.
Lily: It is? That’s really embarrassing.
Buffy: Um, well, I-it’s an exotic mushroom, if that’s any comfort.

Xander: Boy, I’m glad we showed up for Depressing Bight.
Willow: I wonder what she’s doing right now.
Xander: Oh, I know what she’s doing. Gabbing to all of her friends about her passionate affair with Pedro the Cabana Boy, laughing about me, thinking how she still might have feelings about me. . . Oh, it’s possible you were talking about Buffy.

Joyce: I just wish I could talk to her. The last thing we did was a fight.
Giles: Joyce, you mustn’t blame yourself for her leaving.
Joyce: I don’t. I blame you. You’ve been this huge influence on her, guiding her. You had this whole relationship with her behind my back. I feel like you’ve taken away from me.

Buffy: This’ll probably go faster if we split up.
Lily: Can I come with you?
Buffy: Okay, where did I lose you on the whole splitting up thing?

Nurse: You’re getting yourself in a lot of trouble.
Buffy: I don’t want any trouble. I just want to be alone and quiet in a room with a chair and a fireplace and a tea cozy. I don’t even know what a tea cozy is, but I want one. Instead, I keep getting trouble, which I am more than willing to share. What are you doing with these kids?

Cordelia: I’m doing this for Buffy’s sake. This has nothing to do with you.
Xander: Yeah, like I needed that cleared up. So away. This is my hiding spot.
Cordelia: Where do I hide?
Xander: You don’t hide. You’re a bait. Go act baity.
Cordelia: What’s the plan?
Xander: The vampire attacks you.
Cordelia: And then what?
Xander: The vampire kills you. We watch, we rejoice.

Buffy: You know, I just… I woke up, and I looked in the mirror, and I thought, hey, what’s with all the sin? I need to change. I’m … I’m dirty. I’m, I’m bad with the… sex and the envy and that, that loud music us kids listen to nowadays. W…. Oh, I just suck at undercover. Where’s Ken?

Xander: Let me ask: how long did it take you to forget me? Were you still taxiing down the runway, or was it actually in the cab?
Cordelia: Oh, yeah! Mr. Faithful? You probably met up with some hot little Inca Mummy girl. Yeah! I heard about her.

Guard: Who are you?
Lily: No one.
Guard: Who are you?
Boy#2: No one.
Guard: Who are you?
Buffy: I’m Buffy. The Vampire Slayer. And you are… ?

Ken: You’ve ruined… You….
Buffy: Hey, Ken, wanna see my impression of Gandhi?
Lilly: Gandhi?
Buffy: Well, you know, if he was really pissed off.