Willow: Maybe we shouldn’t be too couple-y around Buffy.
Cordelia: Oh, you mean ‘cause of how the only guy that ever liked her turned into a vicious killer and had to be put down like a dog?
Xander: Can she cram complex issues into a nutshell, or what?

Cordelia: When did you become Martha Stewart?
Buffy: First of all, Martha Stewart knows jack about hand-cut prosciutto.
Xander: I don’t believe she slays, either.
Oz: Oh, I hear she can, but she doesn’t like to.

Willow: Ooo, Scott Hope at eleven o’clock. He likes you. He wanted to ask you out last year, but you weren’t ready then. But I think you’re ready then, or at least in the state of pre-readiness to make conversation, or-or to do that thing with your mouth that boys like. Oh! I didn’t mean the bad thing with your mouth, I meant that little half-smile thing that you… You’re supposed to stop me when I do that.
Oz: I like when you do that.

Willow: I think that went very well. Don’t you think that went very well?
Cordelia: He didn’t try to slit our throats or anything. That’s progress.

Buffy: All right, yes, date and shop and hang out and go to school and save the world from unspeakable demons. You know, I wanna do girlie stuff!

Buffy: So let me get this straight. I’m really back in school because the school board overruled you. Wow. That’s like having your whole ability to do this job called into question, when you think about it.
Joyce: I think what my daughter’s trying to say is… Nyah, nyah-nyah-nyah, nyah.

Willow: No, I don’t think so. I think he (Giles) just needed to see you. Have you ever notices, though, when he is mad, but he’s too English to say anything, he makes that weird cluck-cluck sound with his tongue?
Buffy: Hi, Giles!

Giles: Buffy, good timing. I could use your help. I trust you remember the demon Acathla?
Buffy: Giles, contain yourself. Yes, I’m back in school, but you know how it embarrasses me when you gush so. Let’s just skip all that and get straight to work.
Giles: Oh, ahhhh… well, I, um… Well-w…. O-o-of course, it’s wonderful to have you back, I-I-it goes without saying. But… You enjoy making me say it, don’t you?

Buffy: Oh, no, I have to go take an English makeup exam. They give you credit just for speaking it, right? Oh …

Willow: Mm, sage. I love that smell. And marnox root. You know, a smidge of this mixed with a virgin’s saliva… Does something I know nothing about.

Willow: Well, you know, I tried this spell to cure Angel, and I guess that was a bust. But since then, you know, small stuff: floating feather, fire out of ice, which next time I won’t do on the bedspread. Are you mad at me?
Giles: No, of course not, no. if I were, I would be making strange clucking sound with my tongue.

Willow: Hi, Scott. What are you doing here?
Scott: You told me if I came after 8:00, I could run into Buffy. Uh, I’m sorry. I’m a bad liar. It’s not good for the soul. O-o-or the skin, actually. It makes me blotch.

Willow: Come on, Buffy. I mean, the guy is charm, a-and normal, which is what you wanted to get back to.
Oz: Plus bonus points for use of the word “mosey”.

Faith: The whole summer it was, like, the worst heat wave. So it’s about a hundred and eighteen degrees and I’m sleeping without a stitch on. And all of a sudden, I hear this screaming from outside. So I go tearing out, stark nude, and this church bus has broke down, and there’s these three vamps feasting on half the Baptists in South Boston. So I waste the vamps, and the preacher comes up, and he’s hugging me like there’s no tomorrow, when all of a sudden, the cops pull up and they arrested us both.
Xander: Wow. They should film that story and show it every Christmas.

Faith: God, I could eat a horse. Isn’t it crazy how slayin’ just always makes you hungry and horny?
Buffy: Well…. Sometimes I-I crave a nonfat yogurt afterwards.

Giles: There’s a Watchers’ retreat every year in the Cotswolds. It’s a lovely spot. It’s very s-serene. There’s horse riding and hiking and punting and lectures and discussions. It-I-it’s… it’s a great honor to be invited. Or so I’m told.

Buffy: Um, maybe I should introduce you again. Faith, this is Giles.
Faith: I see him. If I’d’ve known they came that young and cute, I would’ve requested a transfer.
Buffy: Raise your hand if “ew”.

Giles: Well, um, uh, leaving aside for a moment my, uh, youth and beauty, I’d-I’d say it was, um, fortuitous that Faith arrived when she did.
Willow: Aha! … Sorry. I just meant… Aha! There’s big evil brewin’. You’ll never be bored here, Faith. ‘Cause this is Sunnydale, home of the big brewin’ evil.

Buffy: Giles, look, I’ve got makeup tests to pass, missing people in Sunset Ridge, and a zesty new Slayer to feed. Next time I kill Angel, I’ll video it.

Willow: And over here, we have the cafeteria; where we were mauled by snakes.
Xander: And this is the spot where Angel tried to kill Willow.
Willow: Oh, and over there in the lounge is where Spike and his gang nearly massacred us all on Parent-Teacher night. Oh, a-and up those stairs, I was suck into a muddy grave.
Xander: And they say young people don’t learn anything in high school nowadays, but, um, I’ve learned to be afraid.

Cordelia: What is it with you and Slayers? Maybe I should dress up as one and put a stake to your throat.
Xander: Please, God, don’t let that be sarcasm.

Buffy: Why am I seeing a look?
Willow: You really do need to find the fun, B. … Uffy.

Buffy: She’s very personable. She gets along with my friends, my Watcher, my mom. Look, now she’s getting with my fries.
Joyce: Now, Buffy…
Buffy: Plus, at school today, she was making eyes at my not-boyfriend. This is creepy.

Faith: Didn’t we, um, do this street already?
Buffy: Funny thing about vamps. They’ll hit a street even after you’ve been there. It’s like they have no manners.

Buffy: You got a problem?
Faith: I’m five by five, B, living entirely large, actually wondering about your problem.
Buffy: Well, I may not sleep in the nude and rassle alligators…

Buffy: I got an idea: how about from now on, we don’t hear from you on Angel or anything else in my life. Which, by the way, is my life.
Faith: What are you getting so strung out for, B?
Buffy: Why are your lips still moving, F?

Giles: All right. I’ll see if I can reach her Watcher at the retreat. They’re eight hours ahead now. I guess they’re probably sitting down to a nightcap. I wonder if they still kayak. I used to love a good kayak. You see, t-they don’t even consider… Sorry, I digress.

Buffy: Uh, no tats. Crappy dressers. And, uh… Oh, the one that nearly bit me mentioned something about kissing toast. He lived for kissing toast.
Giles: You mean Kakistos?
Buffy: Maybe it was taquitos. Maybe he lived for taquitos. What?
Giles: Kakistos.

Buffy: Giles, there are two things that I don’t believe in: coincidence and leprechauns.
Giles: Well, Buffy, it’s entirely possible that they both arrived here by chance simultaneously.
Buffy: Okay, but I was right about the leprechauns, right?
Giles: As far as I know, yes.

Buffy: You know, come to think of it, I-I don’t think I’ve given a fair chance to… Buster Keaton. I… I like what I’ve seen of him so far. I… I think it might be time to see a little more.

Buffy: Hey. Uh, I was, um, I was waiting for you to get out of class.
Scott: Oh. Um, why?
Buffy: Um… There was someone a while ago, and, uh, the ring sort of confused me. But I liked what you said about friendship. I liked it a lot. And Buster Keaton. Big fun. And I’m capable of big fun even though there’s no earthly way you could possibly know that about me. Wow. If I knew I was gonna go on this long, I probably would’ve brought some water. Uh, what I’m trying to say is, um… if you would still like to go to the film festival –and I would understand it if you didn’t—I’d pretty much love to go with you.
Scott: Uh… Ahem. I don’t know, Buffy. I’m, I’m really gonna have to think about this. Okay. You know what, I thought about it, and I’m in. When do you want to go?