Giles: “And on that tragic day, an era came to its inevitable end.” That’s all there is. Are you ready?
Buffy: Hit me.
Giles: Which of the following best expresses the theme of the passage? A) Violence breeds violence, B) All things must end, C) …
Buffy: “B”. I’m going with “B”. We haven’t had a “B” in forever.
Giles: This is SATs, Buffy. Not connect-the-dots.

Giles: This isn’t meant to be easy, you know. It’s a rite of passage.
Buffy: Well, is it too late to join a tribe where they just pierce something or cut something off?

Buffy: And then I was being chased by an improperly filled-in answer bubble screaming, “none of the above!”.
Willow: Wow. I hope that wasn’t one of your prophecy dreams. Probably not.

Willow: Oz is the highest-scoring person ever to fail to graduate.
Buffy: Isn’t she cute when she’s proud?
Oz: She’s always cute.

Cordelia: Oh, God. Are we killing something again?
Buffy: Only my carefree spirit.
Oz: Buffy SAT prep.
Willow: Oz is helping. He’s the highest scoring…
Cordelia: We know. We did the impressed thing already.

Snyder: You will sell it to raise money for the marching band. They need new uniforms.
Xander: Yeah. Those tall, fuzzy hats ain’t cheap, huh?
Oz: But they go with everything.

Buffy: But I took the class. I watched the filmstrips with the blood and the death and the corpses. I’m prepped.
Joyce: Honey, you failed the written test. They wouldn’t even let you take the road test.
Buffy: That was a year ago. And I don’t test well… she said, two days before the SATs.

Joyce: Again? Honey, don’t you think Mr. Giles is monopolizing an awful lot of your time?
Buffy: And does he ever say he’s sorry?

Buffy: Why do I put with this?
Giles: Because it is your destiny… and because I just bought twenty cocorific candy bars.
Buffy: Okay, you’re just doing this to take funny pictures of me.

Cordelia: I heard that, there was a secret rule that if a teacher’s more than ten minutes late, we can all leave.
Buffy: It’s Giles’ turn to watch study hall. He’ll be here. He’s allergic to late.
Cordelia: He is wound a little tight. I had this philosophy book checked out from the library for, like, a year, and he made me pay the fine, even though it was huge. I was sad to return it. It was perfect for starting conversations with college boys. Of course, that was B.X.
Buffy: B.X.? Before Xander. Clever.

Cordelia: Where is Giles already? I’m bored, and he’s not here to give me credit for it.

Ms. Barton: Hey! We’re all stuck here, okay? So now let’s just sit quietly and, and pretend we’re reading something until we’re really sure that old Commandant Snyder’s gone. Then we’re all outta here!
Xander: Does anyone else wanna marry Ms. Barton?
Cordelia: Get in line.

Joyce: We decided that you made a good point earlier, honey.
Buffy: I did. Yeah. Which was… ?

Joyce: Um… Take the car, and, um, Mr. Giles can drive me home.
Buffy: What? Excuse me, I meant what!?!
Joyce: Keys. Take them.
Buffy: You don’t have to tell me twice. Well, actually, you did, but… bye!

Willow: Do you know that you have the parking brake on?
Buffy: Uh-huh.

Willow: Are you okay, Ms Barton?
Ms Barton: Oh, I’m cool, Willow. Willow… that’s a tree. You’re a tree!

Oz: Of course, I mean, even if he’s sixteen, he’s still Giles, right? He’s probably a pretty together guy.
Willow: Yeah, well…
Oz: What?
Buffy: Giles at sixteen? Less Together Guy, more Bad-Magic-Hates-The-World-Ticking-Time-Bomb Guy.

Buffy: Mom, look at your car. Look at that dent the size of New Brunswick. I did that.
Joyce: Oh, my God. What was I thinking when I bought the Geek Machine?

Cordelia: At first it was fun, you know? They seemed like they were in this really good mood – not like parents—and then…
Willow: Badness?
Cordelia: Mom started borrowing my clothes. There should be an age limit on Lycra pants. And Dad, he just locked himself in the bathroom with old copies of Esquire.

Xander: I don’t get this. The Candy’s supposed to make you feel all immature and stuff, but I have a ton, and I don’t feel any dif… never mind.

Trick: You and me, girl. There’s hard time ahead.
Buffy: They never just leave. Always gotta say something.

Willow: “Kiss rocks.” Why would anyone want to kiss…. Oh, wait. I get it.

Buffy: It was just too much to deal with. It was like nothing made sense anymore. The things that I understood were gone. I just felt… so alone.
Giles: Was that the math or the verbal?
Buffy: Mostly the math.