Faith: Nicely diverted, B!
Buffy: (panting) Diverted? That was me fighting for my life, Miss Attention Span.
Faith: (sighs and turns to go) This isn't a Tupperware Party. It's a little hard to plan.
Buffy: (follows) The count of three isn't a plan. It's Sesame Street.

Mayor Wilkins: (smiles up at Trick) Do you like Family Circus?
Trick: (seriously) I like Marmaduke.
Mayor Wilkins: (disgusted) Oh! (shivers) Eww! He's always on the furniture. Unsanitary.
Trick: Nobody can tell Marmaduke what to do. (grins) That's my kinda dog.
Allan: (smiling eagerly) I like to read Cathy.

Xander: Willow, what are these?
Willow: They're early admission packets.
Xander: Harvard... Yale... Wesleyan... Some German Polytechnical Institute whose name I, uh... (tries to read it) I can't pronounce. (drops the packets, leans back) Is anyone else intimidated? (looks at Oz) 'Cause I'm just expecting thin slips of paper with the words 'No Way' written in crayon.

Willow: (smiling) I'm so overwhelmed! I-I got in! To actual colleges! And, a-and they're wooing me! They're pitching woo!
Buffy: (smiles) The wooing stage is always fun.
Willow: (sighs) But it's weird. Now, rejection I can handle 'cause of the years of training, but this...
Xander: I feel your pain, Will. Like right now, I'm torn between the fast-growing fields of appliance repair and motel management. Of course, I'm still waiting to hear back from the, uh, Corndog Emporium, so...

Wesley: Of course, training procedures have been updated quite a bit since your day. Much greater emphasis on field work.
Giles: (very bored) Really?
Wesley: Oh, yes. (walks around to another box) Not all books and theory nowadays. (reaches in for some books) I have, in fact, faced two vampires myself. Under controlled circumstances, of course.
Giles: (uncrosses his arms) Well, no danger of finding those here.
Wesley: (looks up) Vampires?
Giles: Controlled circumstances.

Buffy: Is he evil?
Wesley: (perplexed) Evil?
Buffy: The last one was evil.
Wesley: (thoughtfully) Oh, yes. Gwendolyn Post. We all heard. No. Mr. Giles has checked my credentials rather thoroughly and phoned the Council, but I'm glad to see you're on the ball as well. (takes a secretive step toward her) A good Slayer is a cautious Slayer. (steps back)
Buffy: (to Giles) Is he evil?
Giles: Not in the strictest sense.

Wesley: As I'm sure none of us is anxious to waste any time on pleasantries, (picks up his Watcher diary) why don't you tell me everything about last night's patrol. (flips to a blank page)
Buffy: Vampires.
Wesley: (inquiringly) Yes?
Buffy: Killed 'em.
Wesley: (fishing for details) Anything else you can tell me?

Giles: (closes the book, hands it back) You seem to know a lot about them.
Wesley: I didn't get this job because of my looks. (goes back to his box)
Buffy: I really, really believe that.

Giles: So why have we not seen them before this?
Wesley: (comes back) They were driven out a hundred years ago. Happily, Balthazar was killed. I don't know by whom.
Buffy: And they're back 'cause...?
Wesley: Balthazar had an amulet purported to give him strength. When he was killed, it was taken by a wealthy landowner named... (sees their looks) I don't want to bore you with the details.
Buffy: A little bit late.

Wesley: Buffy, you will go to the Gleaves family crypt tonight and fetch the amulet. (reaches in)
Buffy: I will?
Wesley: (pauses) Are you not used to being given orders?
Buffy: Whenever Giles sends me on a mission, he always says 'please'. And afterwards I get a cookie.

Buffy: Faith, wait. Look, I know this new guy's a dork, but... (pauses) Well, I have nothing to follow that. He's pretty much just a dork.

Wesley: Perhaps there were a few more than we'd anticipated, but I'd expect you to be ready for anything. (looks her in the eye) Remember the three key words for any Slayer: preparation... preparation... preparation.
Buffy: That's one word three times.

Buffy: What's up?
Faith: Vampires.
Buffy: Uh, Faith, unless there's a total eclipse in the next five minutes, it's daylight.

Faith: Strangely, not my priority When are ya gonna get this, B? Life for a Slayer is very simple: want... take... have.
Buffy: Want... take... have. I'm gettin' it.

Joyce: You sure about those waffles?
Buffy: Yeah. But if you want them, I can help you make them.
Joyce: No. (sighs) They only don't have calories if I make them for you. (Buffy doesn't get it) Mom logic.

Mayor Wilkins: Backbone of America, those little guys. Seeing the hope and courage on their bright little faces, I swear I could just, I... I could just eat 'em up.

Wesley: I didn't say you had emotional problems. (turns to Giles) I said you had *an* emotional problem. (condescendingly) It's quite different.
Giles: (enunciating clearly) My 'attachment' to the Slayer is not a problem. In point of fact, it's been a very...
Wesley: (interrupts) The way you've handled this assignment is something of an embarrassment to the council.
Giles: (miffed) If you want to criticize my methods, fine. But you can keep your snide remarks to yourself. And while you're at it, don't criticize my methods.

Wesley: (very nervous) Oh, God! (looks around desperately) Oh, God!
Giles: (calmly) It doesn't seem too promising, does it?
Wesley: (trying not to panic) Stay calm, Mr. Giles. We have to stay calm.
Giles: Well, thank God you're here. I was planning to panic.